The tradition of searching for potential brides in the universities of Uzbekistan raises protests among the younger generation.
Nigora (not her real name) is a second-year student at the Central Asian Pediatric Medical Institute. Just like many other female students in Tashkent, she knows from her experience that the matchmakers are searching for girls suitable for marriage in universities.
“Once, when I was leaving the classroom, a woman – ‘sovchi’ [matchmaker] – approached me. She asked me to tell her about myself. I refused; she blocked my way and asked me to speak. It seems that after my repeated refusal, she bought information about me. The next day, that woman called my mother and openly told her she had received information about me from the faculty administration,” says Nigora.
According to Nigora, the matchmakers repeatedly call her saying they received information from the dean’s office.
“At first, I did not believe in such a thing but decided to ask senior students if this was possible. They confirmed that the administration was selling the information about the girls for 30-50 thousand soms (about $3-5). Very often, ‘sovchis’ are watching us at the doors of our Institute. We feel very uncomfortable; there is a feeling that the university is turning into a bazaar where we are the goods someone can choose for some reason,” says Nigora.
According to her, not only the parents search for girls to arrange marriage but also the future grooms themselves, who watch the girls on the universities campuses.
“Often, we notice how they stand in front of our Institute and look at the girls. I do not know what these people think but we are against this approach to dating and creating a family; it is a shame that information about us is sold and such methods are encouraged,” said Nigora.
A Student, an Athlete, and a Pure Beauty
Such practice of a search for potential brides exists for a long time in Uzbekistan. Certain people consider it prestigious if a candidate for the role of a future wife is in the process of receiving higher education.
“This is nothing unusual for us. The parents want to find a suitable candidate for their daughter-in-law. And many good girls study in universities,” says Tashkent resident Mukhabbat Khabibullaeva.
The students of medical and pedagogical universities are preferred for this role. At the same time, it is desirable that the girls study at the state expense since far from all matchmakers want to pay for the potential bride’s education.
Nargis Kosimova, Doctor of Philology, a lecturer in gender-sensitive journalism at the Uzbekistan State University of World Languages, says there are many requirements for potential brides. At the same time, the grooms themselves may not suit them.
“Three or four years ago, a man came and started asking if we had any students from Tashkent. Among other things, he had clear requirements: Tashkent resident with a Tashkent residence permit, an excellent student in her final year (so as not to pay for her studies), and beautiful. I got angry and told him, “Where does your son study? Did he graduate? What is he doing?” It turned out that his son does not study anywhere and never did; he works as a seller at the bazaar. I replied, “Maybe, you can find a suitable girl who did not study anywhere and also works at the bazaar”, to which he said, “What if my son gets sick? What if he has no money from his sales? Then, his wife will provide for him, so she has to be educated.” I could hardly stop myself from shouting and was very indignant but I managed to politely said goodbye to him,” says Kosimova.
Just Like the Goods in the Bazaar
Young girls worry about this situation but their complaints do not seem to be heard. Nigora says that after the calls from matchmakers, several students addressed the class curator.
“When we told our curator about this, we heard that they would consider the case and find a solution. However, the situation did not change to this day,” she says.
The girls say the information about them is sold in the dean’s office of the university and they are advised to be happy that matchmakers are interested in them, which means they are a ‘good catch’. However, many students say they entered the university to receive an education and fulfil their potential rather than to marry well.
Of course, not all tutors and educators support such approaches to dating. Guzaliya Nurmankhojaeva, an English teacher and head of youth initiatives at one of the lyceums in Uzbekistan, openly opposes such actions.
“During my studies at the university, they often came to faculties, where their ‘insiders’, as it turned out, provided information about the girls and recommended the best ‘clients’ according to the criteria. I have always been against it,” says Nurmankhojaeva.
During her university years, she witnessed the scene when the matchmakers discussed a girl as the good in the bazaar.
“I remember the moment when we were returning from the canteen with my classmates and the so-called ‘sovchis’ were in the university yard. A modest girl with a long tight braid stood in front of them. We heard their conversation. They said to her, “Well, turn around, we need to see you from every side, turn around. Your hair is not long enough. The son likes white-skin ones and you have dark skin. Where do you live? In the city? Are your studies self-paid or state-funded?” she recalls.
“After what I saw and heard, I decided to fight against the infringement of the rights of these girls. This action is equivalent to coming to the bazaar and choosing a lamb! It is humiliating and unacceptable! During my teaching career, I had fights with such ‘do-gooders’ and ‘sovchis’,” she said.
Often, the university administration does nothing in such situations. Moreover, the older generation in Uzbekistan considers this normal and does not see anything reprehensible in it.
Guzaliya Nurmankhojaeva says that her compatriots explain her active position in defending women’s rights by the fact that she is of a different nationality.
“As a head of youth initiatives, I had lists of talented girls. When matchmakers approached me, I refused [to provide information], to which I heard angry comments behind my back, “Well, she is Russian and that is why she does not provide [information].” Of course, it is not about nationality, it is about stopping ‘sovchilik’ [matchmaking] because the girls’ rights are being violated! What right do they have to check how she looks from behind, what kind of hair she has, who her parents are?”, indignantly says Nurmankhojaeva.
Now, she actively fights against any oppression of girls and is a frequent guest of podcasts on gender equality in Uzbekistan, where she shares her experience and is ready to provide psychological aid to any victim.
What Do Potential Grooms Say?
The young men’s attitude to the search for brides is controversial. Some of them believe that the girls themselves want to marry quickly, so traditions must be observed.
Surkhandarya region resident Anvar Saidaliev, 20, believes that his parents know better which bride to choose. Therefore, they will choose his future wife.
“This is our tradition. My parents found the wives for my brothers. Everyone lives great. I do not see anything wrong when ‘sovchis’ find out information about girls. They need to get married,” he said.
However, most of the young men from Tashkent who we interviewed opposed such a search for brides.
“Well, in general, I do not see anything wrong in searching for a bride. However, there are situations when they approach the girls and ask them to tell the information. This is extremely wrong. A girl is a person, not a good. There should be boundaries in everything,” said Doniyor Ergashev, a second-year student at the University of World Languages.
“First, I want to say that I am from an Uzbek family. I hear about the search for brides in universities for the first time. I am shocked. It seems to me that such actions violate human values and dignity. I am 100% against such “traditions” or “methods” of matchmaking. … I am 25, and I am sure that my family, relatives, and those I know will be against such methods of finding a bride. It seems to me that if a man respects himself, he will not allow himself to behave this way towards others. Such actions definitely have to be stopped,” Davlat Iminov, a third-year student at the South Korean Gachon University.
“What is happening in universities, this situation with the leak of data on these girls is the stalking at its worst. …. This is terrible and puts the girls’ privacy at risk. I believe it is necessary to at least introduce an article and compensation for moral damages – for violating personal boundaries,” Igor Abalihin, a second-year student at the University of World Languages.
Gender Equality Is Still Far Away
Meanwhile, it is illegal to disclose students’ personal information, says Tamilla Rakhmatullaeva, head of the “TamiLaw” Legal Practice, citing Article 12 “Use of Personal Data” and Article 28 “Confidentiality of Personal Data” of the Law on Personal Data of Uzbekistan.
“The information about the students is personal; the dean’s offices do not have the right to provide it to the third parties. If your data was provided to completely unfamiliar persons by your university (by the dean’s office), for a start, I recommend contacting the rector of the university. If the top management does not take any action, address the Prosecutor’s Office. They will decide where to send your case,” says Rakhmatullaeva.
Recently, gender equality issues are increasingly raised in Uzbekistan. New structures are being created to promote women’s rights; legal acts were adopted in accordance with the Laws “On Guarantees with Respect to Equal Rights and Opportunities for Women and Men” and “On Protection of Women from Harassment and Abuse”.
As a member of the Commission on Gender Equality, the Uzbek President’s daughter Saida Mirziyoyeva tries to draw public attention to the problems of equality by regularly promoting this discourse on her social media pages.
“In Uzbekistan, it is necessary to create a social environment of intolerance to any forms of violence! This can be achieved only if the education system and the media operate effectively and jointly,” she writes on her Instagram page.
While positively assessing the open discussion of the gender equality issues, the experts nevertheless report that the problems of domestic violence against women are acute in the republic and gender equality is still far away.
“In my opinion, it is possible to address the Gender Equality Commission, the authorities, and the state with a request to solve this problem. However, there is an acute problem of domestic violence in Uzbekistan. Donation-driven shelters can barely keep up with the number of violence victims. Therefore, in my opinion, we can solve this problem ourselves, together with the universities’ administrations, by changing our thinking, by making it clear that they cannot come to universities to search for brides there,” anonymously says one of the human rights activists from Tashkent.
“It is necessary to prevent these cases. Then, after a certain time, we will see the results,” says a civil activist, a sponsor of a shelter in Uzbekistan.